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Lord Are You There?

Well Lord, here we are again looking square-eyed, face to face, standing toe to toe with a new year. Lord, it is exciting to step into a new year, but it is also scary. Sometimes I wonder just how many more you are going to let us see. I wonder how much longer you will let all this go on.

Lord, I don’t want you to think we are morbid and pessimistic, but we are struggling down here. Let me explain. You see, Lord, every year the good you put inside us wants to shout out toward heaven all the resolutions we would like to make. Over the years we’ve made resolutions, only to fail in keeping them before the second week of the new year is past. Oh how we must let you down. We recognize that the paths we often choose are wrong. We know that we are perpetual sinners and that no matter how hard we try we will always sin. We do know, however, that you keep on forgiving us and for that we are so grateful. How do you do it Lord? How do you deal with such a sinful people?

Last year we thought we would do better. Last year we thought that we would turn it all over to you and really let you be Lord of our lives. What happened, you ask? Who knows! The sinful nature, I suppose, is our problem Lord. Every time we really want to do right, we find ourselves doing wrong all over again. Every time we decide to make a change, our years of practicing doing it the old way comes back alive. We’re stuck, Lord. We’re stuck between wanting to do what is right and practicing what is wrong. I feel like we’ve let you down and that we’ve let each other down. We haven’t worked together like you wanted us to. We haven’t been at peace with our other brothers and sisters the way you taught us to be. We are miserable failures Lord.

Sir? What was that Lord? Yes Sir, I’m listening. Yes Sir, I’ll be quiet and let you speak. I’m listening, Lord. Do you really think I have a low self image Lord? Now wait. Let me understand. Are you saying that we spend too much time looking at our weakness and not enough time looking at you… our strength?

Lord, aren’t we suppose to feel dirty? Aren’t we suppose to feel inadequate? Yes Sir, I’ve read Ephesians? Do you really mean that I can see myself as a winner instead of a sinner if I count my weakness as my strengths? Lord, I’m confused. Yes Sir, I know I can do all things through you because you give me strength. Say what, Lord? Oh, when am I going to start? What about now, Lord? What about right now? Is that a smile I see, Lord? Life isn’t so bad after all, is it Lord? I…. no…. we, this church, we can really win this war, can’t we Lord?

This little talk has really helped me Lord. I can’t believe that in such a short time with you so much could be accomplished. I don’t feel the same way I did a little while ago. I feel renewed. Lord, I feel like David must have felt when he faced Goliath. He wasn’t afraid. He was full of courage, wasn’t he Lord? He must have had this same kind of conversation with you.

Sir? What are my plans for 1994? Well, first of all, I’m going to talk things over with you more. You are so wise. You give me such peace and make me feel so loved… even when I don’t deserve it. Sir? What else will I do? Well, it occurs to me that I can believe in you and believe your promises, I can show others how to do the same. I’m curious Lord, did Joshua and Caleb ever have this conversation with you? They did! Really! I thought so.

Thanks Lord. You’ve taught me well. I can’t even change myself… let alone someone else. In 1994 I’ll just trust you and someone else will follow me to you.

Oh, thanks for the hug Lord. I needed that!